1 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE November

The sexy Tilt-a-Whirl of life

Way to Go, Smith!

by Bob Smith

Morrow, $24 hardcover

Reviewed by Kaixaad Kotwal

Grant Wood's painting “American Gothic" is as much an American icon as it is about American icons. In the painting, a farming couple stands outside their perfect house, their clothes are classical and traditional and they hold a pitchfork. Underneath all that normalcy, outward calm and American tradition, Wood has laced through a subtext of uneasiness, impending instability and even some danger. It's Norman Rockwell meets Freud.

Comedian Bob Smith's new book is the American Gothic of semi-autobiographical essay writing. Smith has written a series of eight essays, each of which embody a series of events in Smith's life and each is flooded with humor and marvelous insight. Smith is a keen observer of human nature and he probes underneath the surface to expose our collective foibles and marvelous glory. What separates Smith's writing from those self-penned biographies by other comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Reiser and Joan Rivers is that Smith doesn't simply rehash and rearrange his standup routines and jokes.

Smith takes his readers on a very intimate journey, and one can't help but end up feeling like one has known the people in Smith's stories for a lifetime. What is amazing about Smith's humor is that a lot of it makes one laugh out loud, and some of it will bring a spontaneous curl to your lip, after you've taken time to absorb and relish the profound observations that Smith interlaces throughout his writing.

Before Bob Smith gained notoriety for being the first openly gay comedian to perform on the Tonight Show, he called home to see if his parents would be okay with him coming out in front of a huge national audience.

His mother said, "Well, your dad and I talked about it, and we figure there are a lot of people named Bob Smith-who's gonna know?"

Smith is very funny, and often his jokes have a slightly darker edge or an eye-watering glint of poignancy. I've seen a couple of Smith's stand-up routines and a couple of jokes still linger in my funny bone.

In one, he says, "I come from a very conser-

vative family and it wasn't easy telling them I was gay. I delivered my carefully worded speech on Thanksgiving. I said to my mother: Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual." After a pause he adds, "She passed it to my father."

Another favorite is when Smith proposed

*The rides at amusement parks are a wonderful prèparation for your sex life. You spend more time in excited unticipation than you do actuall experiencing

that in order to increase gay acceptance in school he would write a gay math problem that read something like this: "Margaret came out to her parents as a lesbian in 1978. Her parents made her see a psychiatrist for 40 weeks at $65 a week." Brief pause. "How many Melissa Etheridge albums could Margaret have bought with the money her parents could have saved?”

Smith was born and raised in the Buffalo suburb of Kenmore, N.Y., and his genetic stock is mostly Irish and English. Smith's zip code today is 90069 in West Hollywood, California. When I naughtily point to the Freudian overtones of his zip code, he quipped back, "Yes, the gay community here lobbied hard to get that number!" At 41 today, Smith has two books to his name, a great stand-up portfolio and he is branching out into films. However, Smith also recently ended a tenyear relationship.

WAY TO GO, SMITH!

BOB SMITH

AUTHOR OF OPENLY BOB

Smith talked to me by phone from his new apartment in Los Angeles, a place he moved to because the old place "was about Tom and me" something he had to break away from. Tom and Smith met as cater-waiters in New York and forged a decade-long relationship, which in the proverbial gay world is better than a golden anniversary. Smith admits that he "liked being in a relationship. I liked Tom especially, and I do miss the day to day conversations.”

Smith is out dating again, which he finds “interesting and challenging.” He also says that he "is looking but not holding my breath, nor have I set a time limit.” Smith looks much younger than his chronological age and when he met a 30-year-old guy in Alaska, “everything was fine till he found out I was forty." Smith also dated a surfer this summer and "he had a regular job but we went surfing and I did something I would not normally have done."

In Way to Go, Smith! he has this to say about playing the dating game. 'Searching for a boyfriend is like searching for extraterrestrial life. You know he's out there, but to find him you have to be either extremely lucky and have him make First Contact, or be prepared to systematically investigate the entire universe." Smith is playing old games, years after he had abandoned them.

It is life's games that Smith has chronicled here. In his stories, Smith starts off with an essay about his break-up and then takes us chronologically from childhood to adulthood in seven other enticing narratives.

"Some of the names are real and some have been changed," Smith confesses, "but the people who I write about will know who they are when they read the book." In this book, unlike his debut book Openly Bob, Smith says he is trying to do some different things with his writing.

"Some of the essays are more like character studies and I am experimenting with style and I wanted to see if I could make these people come to life." Smith says that "there is a long literary tradition of such essays from Mark Twain and Thoreau to Evelyn Waugh.”

Smith attributes his comic sensibilities to having grown up in Buffalo, to being Catholic

and to being gay. "Growing up in Buffalo helped me to have a sense of place and to observe personalities and to see how people behave."

Smith is able to tap into these observations to create characters that are rich and complex. As for Catholicism and humor, Smith observes that "it helps when you have a tradition, an edifice to go against."

Smith says that he developed his sense of being funny partly "as a way to get attention for himself'"' because he was so close in age to his brothers and "I found it easier to fit in if I could be funny." His humor ranges from the profound to the profane, and he believes that writing allows him to do things with comedy that his stand-up routines don't leave room for. "In the essays you can tell the truth and if there are tough emotional bits you don't have to skip over it like you have to in stand-up."

Simple comedy merely invokes laughter. Lasting comedy certainly invokes laughter, but it also allows us to voyage into the far more complex corners of our hearts and minds. Great comedy seeks to elevate us by exposing us to our own foibles and ridiculous natures. Way To Go, Smith! dares to be different, and as a result is extremely gratifying as comedy and generously rewarding in its exploration of our humanity.

Smith's book is littered with a colorful menagerie of characters and a smorgasbord of situations that are all at once intensely hilarious and deeply moving. While each essay has its own cast of characters, its specific plot and dramatic arc, the entire book is threaded together by Smith's compassion and unconditional love for these people he lets inhabit his writing.

Smith is no stranger to the experience of knowing that if you are brave enough to shake the family tree you are resigned to dealing with the many nuts sure to fall out! Smith uses his family and friends as the canvas upon which he paints his funny portraits with great depth of insight and detailed observations that are rich and profound.

Here's a sampling of some quotes from Smith: "Throughout my childhood the question I was asked most frequently was, 'Bob, what do you want to be when you grow up?' After fainting twice in fifth grade, my answer should have been, 'Conscious'."

On male adolescence: "One of the first things a boy learns as he becomes a man is that when a penis blushes it never does so out of innocence. The brain and the penis are the Leopold and Loeb of body parts; separately they don't cause much trouble, but when they team up, it can be murder."

On sex, Smith writes: "The rides at amusement parks are a wonderful preparation for your sex life. You spend more time in excited anticipation... than you do actually experiencing it. You can do the ride by yourself but it's more fun... with someone else. During the ride your head is spinning, but it's over all too soon. And, of course, there are plenty of times when it's a big disappointment. And even times when you feel like throwing up afterward. Come to think of it, sex is a ride that should be named the Tilt-a-Whirl.”

I asked Smith what his personal ad might say. After a bit of hesitation, with a serious voice he says, "Funny, smart, nice-looking guy seeks sloppy pig bottom." After a beat he bursts out laughing acknowledging his temptation "to always go for the joke." Seriously, Smith says he is looking for someone who is intelligent, fun and sexy and believes that "he is definitely out there."

As a follow up to this book, Smith says that he is ready to take on a book that is pure fiction. He is also working on a movie and continues to develop his stand-up repertoire.

Smith's book is a must read for all audiences because it promises to touch something deep within the funny bone of our very human existences and our very mortal neuroses. Way to Go, Smith! is certain to make you laugh out loud and at times the tear ducts will moisten as well.

Anais Nin wrote that "We write to taste life twice." Smith has laid out a sumptuous buffet. Dig in and revel in the feast.

Kaizaad Kotwal is a Chronicle contributing writer in Columbus.

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